Too much has been going on lately, and I need to get it out of my head. Today, things are pretty great. Honestly. But last week, many I don’t even know what the hell happened.
It started on Sunday night, August 7th. I’ve been really “home”sick for NC (it’s not my home state; I just miss it and most everyone in it is all) and anxious about not having a job. I started thinking that well, if I can’t find a job, I might as well just go back to school now. Originally I wanted to work a bit and go to school here and there, but if I could figure out a way to afford school and not have to work (yes, all while going into superdebt!) then I might as well give it a whirl.
I started looking into school for culinary arts. Why? Because I like to cook. Never has a sentence gotten me into more trouble, let me tell you. I contacted the Art Institute of Chicago and Le Cordon Bleu Chicago for more information. And then I went to sleep.
The next day, Monday (8/8), I got a call from the temp agency that I had been placed for an assignment which would start on August 23rd. Yay but argh….I wanted to start working asap. Gotta pay the bills, man. But I was excited that work was right around the corner and soon I’d have money again and life would be peachy. A few hours later, I received a call from a fast-talking woman at Le Cordon Bleu asking if I would like to come in for a tour of the school tomorrow (Tuesday the 9th). Of course I did! The appointment was made for the afternoon, and I was all excited. Jeez, who wouldn’t be? Shortly thereafter, I got a call from the Art Institute of Chicago, asking if I’d like to come in for a tour. Of course! The tour was set for the next day at 10am. I was pretty excited to see both of the schools, though moreso for Le Cordon Bleu since it’s so prestigious.
The next morning, I headed over to AI to meet the admissions counselor for a chat and a tour. Honestly, the tour got me pretty excited about the possibility of attending school for culinary arts. The facilities were pretty and clean, and we got to taste test some amazingly delicious food, talk with some students and chefs, and I really got a good idea of how much they cared about the program itself. I felt really good when I left; I felt like this could be real and I could do this, no problem.
Later in the day, I headed to LCB. It is literally two block from Cabrini Green. I’m about to take a detour so follow me here so I can explain why this is important on a couple of levels:
1) Cabrini Green is the projects. Well…it was. I don’t know if it still is but I’d assume it might be. I don’t have an issue with this. I had friends on Staten Island who lived in the projects and I have worked in areas which were surrounded by the projects. It’s still creepy at night, no matter who you are. Safety first.
2) Cabrini Green is main setting for the 1992 horror film Candyman which I love because Tony Todd is amazing and it’s just really terrifyingly good and kind of weird and eerie and I think some of it makes me laugh but in a “ew what?” kind of way. I am very weary of mirrors because of this movie. If I went to school near Cabrini Green, I’d geek out over it all the time because I am a huge nerd.
So back to the point at hand. The school’s in a bad part of town and I didn’t even like walking to it in the daytime. There was a drunk homeless dude pissing in the smoking area outside and everyone was like laughing. Uhhh…oh…ohkay.
Inside was alright…for some reason there is a hair salon in LCB…don’t believe it is part of the school though. That whole thing confused me. As I began talking to (or really being interrogate by) the admissions counselor, I started to feel uneasy. This seemed more like an interview and less like “come have a look around!” And it turns out it was, and suddenly, I was accepted and class starts on Monday (8/15)! I filed a FAFSA and filled out some forms and I don’t know what the fuck I was doing guys. I was in a fog. By the time I left, my schedule was this: work from 9-5, school from 6-10, externship on weekends. All for one year. I was uncomfortable. But happy? Not sure.
I came home and was pretty weird. I was kind of happy but not sure that I should be and I was also pretty upset. I didn’t want to start school on Monday. I wanted to look into other options. And hey, how sketch it is to be accepted to a school as soon as you sit your ass down in a chair?
After a rough night of “why did I just do that?!”, I emailed the admissions counselor and told her I couldn’t do it. Reasons why:
1- The whole situation was weird and moving too fast. I had a Groucho Marx “I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member!” moment. WHO GETS ACCEPTED TO SCHOOL BASED ON ONE MEETING? And fifty bucks*
2- While at LCB I received an email about a job I’d applied for when we first moved here, and I REALLY wanted to work for the place so yeah…that.
3- Again…I would be working 9-5 (presumably), going to school 6-10 and working in a restaurant on the weekends. So…no more improv? No social life? No chance to explore more of Chicago? No time for myself? Not really seeing Alex ever? For a year!?
4- I don’t know that I do want to go to culinary arts school. I need to think on it and explore other options.
And that is pretty much that. I’m not going back to school just yet. I need to make sure I am 100% on whatever it is that I’m going to do. But also, I want to be financially stable. I’m 6 days away from the last year of my 20′s and I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck anymore**. And I don’t want to work somewhere where I will be miserable. I’m really excited about my interview today because I feel like this is a company who’s ideals I can really get behind, and really believe in. This company will make me more knowledgable about things I’m already interested in and care about. Ooooh man guys. It’s going to be awesome.
Anyhow, that’s about it. Other than all of the above, I’m jogging here and there and trying to build up tolerance for jogging more. My knee is hurting far less than it did a month ago, though there is still some discomfort. I’ve finally fixed my iPod/iTunes problem after several months (and since Mac has been reformatted and fixed up with some pretty Google Chrome.
For the time being, I’ll stick to cooking here for Alex and myself. I really do enjoy cooking…I just thing for now I’ll enjoy doing it in our kitchen, for us and anyone who wants to come over for dinner.
*I hope it’s refundable…I really need it back.
**Being sans car and all the expenses that come with that, I doubt that will be an issue.