Last year I found this website where you can send yourself an email from the past. It seemed like a fun idea at the time, and I’m not sure who else I sent one of these to so I apologize for the weirdness. Below, my letter to myself from December 2011:
Hey, what’s up? I hope you’re still alive. Right now, you’re living in Chicago, washing clothes and cooking Seitan. It’s Sunday. Your spine kind of hurts. I hope you’re still with Alex. If you’re not…what happened? If it was something he did, well then forget about that guy! You’re awesome, so don’t worry. If you’re still together though, disregard that and don’t read this to him even though current (well, past) you thinks that’s a fun idea!
Right now, you’re in Level 3 improv classes at the Annoyance Theatre. What are you doing now? Did you keep up with improv or are you in plays?
Is this email more irritating than anything?
I am not sure I like my job now. Well, you aren’t sure, I mean. But I’m planning on going back to school. Have I done that?
Listen…no matter what happens, you’re pretty awesome. You’ve made it this far, and now you’re 30 and that’s crazy, right? We never thought we’d make it pased like 18. But we did. High five!
Anyhow, I’ve got to check on the laundry, but just remember that you’re cool, and no matter where you are, I love you ok?
You in 2011
A year ago: In a long term relationship with knowledge that the end is near, thinking about going back to school, in improv class, cooking seitan and approaching a whirlwind battle with depression.
Today: Single, no longer thinking about going back to school, on an improv team/performing in other projects/part of a theatre company/running tech weekly, relying mostly on to-go foods and Trader Joe’s ready made meals (I am not particularly proud of this high sodium lifestyle change), generally upbeat with normal ups and downs with a few moments of managable “wtf” here and there.
2012 has been a year of heartbreak and dissapointment, with tons of amazing events peppered in between to soften the blows.
My friend Shaun sent me the following Kahlil Gibran quote last night, as I was navigating through a very rough patch of life yesterday:
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”